Act 00 Scene 00

Setting the Stage

30|00|13|12|L|Q|
29|00|13|12|R|Q|

Act 01 Scene 02

Quite a Few

21|00|00|10|L|S|There are a few people in this line. 21|00|00|02|L|Q| 20|00|00|12|R|Q| 21|00|00|12|L|Q| 20|00|00|10|R|S|Not just a few.
There are quite a few. 20|00|00|02|R|Q| 21|00|00|20|L|S|It`s not quite a few.
It`s almost a few.
But it`s not quite a few. 21|00|00|02|L|Q| 20|00|00|22|R|Q| 21|00|00|12|L|Q| 20|00|00|10|R|S|Oh, no...
It`s quite a few. 20|00|00|02|R|Q| 21|00|00|12|L|T|!!!! 20|00|00|12|R|T|!!!!

Act 01 Scene 04

Jealous Lover

04|00|08|12|L|S|Oh no. Oh no!
What did he do! 03|00|07|12|R|Q| 04|00|14|08|L|Q| 03|00|08|08|R|S|Where the
heck are we? 04|00|14|14|L|S|We got caught.
And we paid the price. 03|00|08|14|R|Q| 04|00|14|09|L|Q| 03|00|09|09|R|S|Caught?
What price? 04|00|09|12|L|S|The jealous bastard lost his temper. 03|00|07|12|R|Q| 04|00|07|06|L|Q| 03|00|08|06|R|S|You mean,
we`re...? 04|00|07|14|L|S|Oh God! Oh God!
Was it worth it? 03|00|08|14|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|L|Q| 03|00|07|04|R|S|Uhhh...
Well... 04|00|14|10|L|T|!!!! 03|00|07|10|R|T|???? 04|00|13|04|L|Q| 03|00|00|04|R|Q| 04|00|07|02|L|Q| 03|00|00|02|R|Q|

Act 01 Scene 10

Aldolf Sweetie

07|01|00|26|R|S|Ich kann nicht glauben, dass ich in solch einer langen Reihe, da dies zu stehen! 07|01|00|04|R|Q| 08|09|00|30|L|Q| 07|00|00|18|R|Q| 08|00|00|14|L|S|Adolf, sweetie, calm down. There`s nothing you can do about it. 08|00|00|04|L|Q| 07|00|00|26|R|S|Woher kommen all diese Leute und warum muss ich hinter ihnen warten? 07|00|00|04|R|Q| 08|00|00|30|L|Q| 07|00|00|26|R|Q| 08|00|08|22|L|S|It`s your own fault. If you hadn`t killed all those Jews, the line wouldn`t be so long! 08|00|09|04|L|Q| 07|00|00|08|R|T|!!!! 08|00|00|08|L|Q|

Act 01 Scene 99

Intermission 1

01|00|13|04|R|Q| 02|00|13|04|R|Q| 03|00|13|04|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|R|Q| 05|00|13|04|R|Q| 06|00|13|04|R|Q| 07|00|13|04|R|Q| 08|00|13|04|R|Q| 09|00|13|04|R|Q| 10|00|13|04|R|Q| 11|00|13|04|R|Q| 12|00|13|04|R|Q| 13|00|13|04|R|Q| 14|00|13|04|R|Q| 15|00|13|04|R|Q| 16|00|13|04|R|Q| 17|00|13|04|R|Q| 18|00|13|04|R|Q| 19|00|13|04|R|Q| 20|00|13|04|R|Q| 21|00|13|04|R|Q| 22|00|13|04|R|Q| 23|00|13|04|R|Q| 24|00|13|04|R|Q| 25|00|13|04|R|Q| 26|00|13|04|R|Q| 27|00|13|04|R|Q| 28|00|13|04|R|Q| 29|00|13|04|R|Q| 30|00|13|04|R|Q|

Act 02 Scene 01

Figurative Jesus

13|00|00|12|R|S|I don`t know how you could possibly do it. 14|00|00|12|L|Q| 13|00|00|06|R|Q| 14|00|00|06|L|S|Do what? 13|00|00|12|R|S|What Jesus would do. 14|00|00|12|L|Q| 13|00|00|12|R|S|We can`t all wander around preaching now can we? 14|00|00|04|L|T|???? 14|00|00|04|L|Q| 14|00|00|04|L|T|!!!! 13|00|00|12|R|S|You couldn`t even own a car! 14|00|00|12|L|Q| 13|00|00|12|R|S|You couldn`t own a house. You couldn`t have a pet! 14|00|00|12|L|T|!!!! 13|00|00|12|R|S|I don`t know how you could possibly do it. 14|00|00|12|L|Q| 13|00|00|12|R|Q| 14|00|00|12|L|S|You may be taking the idea too literally. 13|00|00|20|R|S|So I should do what Jesus would do... figuratively? 14|00|00|20|L|Q| 13|00|00|06|R|Q| 14|00|00|06|L|S|Well... 13|00|00|20|R|S|``Here street-person: Feast on this figurative piece of bread.`` 14|00|00|20|L|Q|???? 13|00|00|06|R|T|!!!! 14|00|00|06|L|T|!!!!

Act 02 Scene 02

Own a Burger

15|00|07|12|R|S|Now I`m really starting to feel guilty for all the stuff I own. 15|00|07|03|R|Q| 16|00|00|15|L|Q| 15|00|07|06|R|Q| 16|00|00|06|L|S|You mean,
``Owned``. 15|00|08|10|R|S|If only I had given it all to the poor. 15|00|08|03|R|Q| 16|00|08|13|L|Q| 15|00|07|06|R|Q| 16|00|08|06|L|S|Then they would own it. 15|00|07|06|R|S|What? 16|00|08|06|L|Q| 15|00|07|08|R|Q| 16|00|14|08|L|S|You cannot avoid owning things. 15|00|07|04|R|S|Sure I can. 16|00|08|04|L|Q| 15|00|07|15|R|Q| 16|00|14|12|L|S|Once you eat a burger, you own it. 16|00|14|03|L|Q| 15|00|07|04|R|T|???? 16|00|08|04|L|Q| 15|00|07|15|R|Q| 16|00|09|12|L|S|We have to possess things in order to survive. 16|00|09|03|L|Q| 15|00|07|15|R|Q| 16|00|08|12|L|S|No sense in feeling guilty for making yourself comfortable. 16|00|08|03|L|Q| 15|00|07|12|R|T|???? 16|00|08|12|L|Q| 15|00|08|08|R|S|I gave the burger back eventually. 15|00|08|04|R|Q| 16|00|08|12|L|Q| 15|00|08|08|R|Q| 16|00|14|08|L|T|!!!! 15|00|08|04|R|Q| 16|00|08|04|L|Q| 15|00|08|04|R|Q| 16|00|14|04|L|Q| 15|00|07|04|R|Q| 16|00|08|04|L|Q| 15|00|00|04|R|Q| 16|00|07|04|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 08

Year of our Lord

25|00|00|24|R|S|So if you reject God, and you refuse to celebrate Christmas, how do you keep time? 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|28|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|S|What? 25|00|00|30|R|S|I mean,
our whole calendar
is based on the
Year of our Lord.
You can`t subscribe
to that, can you? 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|34|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|S|Listen... 25|00|00|38|R|S|I suppose
you base your
calendar on the
carbon-dating
of the Earth.
So...
what`s that
make it?
About year
4 billion? 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|42|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|S|That`s stupid. 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|Q| 25|00|00|08|R|S|Must be hard to fit that on checks. 25|00|00|02|R|Q| 26|00|00|10|L|Q| 25|00|00|14|R|Q| 26|00|00|10|L|S|Nah, our bank gives us special checks with a big blank. 26|00|00|04|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|Q| 25|00|00|36|R|S|March 27th,
in the year
of our planet
4,509,831,672.
Has a nice ring to it. 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|40|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 99

Intermission 2

01|00|13|04|R|Q| 02|00|13|04|R|Q| 03|00|13|04|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|R|Q| 05|00|13|04|R|Q| 06|00|13|04|R|Q| 07|00|13|04|R|Q| 08|00|13|04|R|Q| 09|00|13|04|R|Q| 10|00|13|04|R|Q| 11|00|13|04|R|Q| 12|00|13|04|R|Q| 13|00|13|04|R|Q| 14|00|13|04|R|Q| 15|00|13|04|R|Q| 16|00|13|04|R|Q| 17|00|13|04|R|Q| 18|00|13|04|R|Q| 19|00|13|04|R|Q| 20|00|13|04|R|Q| 21|00|13|04|R|Q| 22|00|13|04|R|Q| 23|00|13|04|R|Q| 24|00|13|04|R|Q| 25|00|13|04|R|Q| 26|00|13|04|R|Q| 27|00|13|04|R|Q| 28|00|13|04|R|Q| 29|00|13|04|R|Q| 30|00|13|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 02

Real Sarcasm

00|DK|00|04|R|S|So what`s your story? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|06|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|Q| 00|00|07|10|R|S|Ahh.. Goldylocks and the three bears? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|S|Standing at the
Pearly Gates,
and you`re still throwing that
stuff around. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|18|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|00|00|02|R|S|What stuff? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|You`ve been skating by on that sarcastic nonsense your entire life. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|00|00|02|R|S|So what? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|When the time of reckoning is upon you, find your straight face, and speak from the heart. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|S|So what if I flavor my words with irony and hyperbole? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|Your irreverence
exposes your lack
of commitment to
your own well being. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|00|00|02|R|S|So? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|So it`s time for some real sarcasm. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|06|R|Q| 00|00|07|04|R|S|What do you mean? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|S|Bye bye. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|06|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|SM|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 04

All Knowledge

00|DK|00|08|R|S|Have you forgiven your trespassers? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|10|R|Q| 00|DK|00|06|R|Q| 00|00|07|04|R|S|I guess. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|You guess?
Do you know how many
people in Heaven are
holding a grudge
against you? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|Q| 00|00|07|10|R|S|Well,
Bob from work is probably still pissed... 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|S|None!
Zero.
Do you know why? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|Because once your dead there`s nothing you can do about it? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|Because when you get to Heaven, you understand why. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|00|07|02|R|S|Why what? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|S|Why Mary slapped Bill at the office party.
Why Jenny didn`t... 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|Oh yeah!
Bill probably said something stupid and off-color. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|22|R|S|That`s not the point!
The point is you will know
why trespasses happened,
and understand. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|24|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|So just because I know
why someone hurt me,
is enough for me
to forgive them? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|When you can see the whole picture,
it all makes sense. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|Q| 00|00|07|08|R|S|That does make it easier to let it all go. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|ST|07|04|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|Actually,
it was because Bill goosed her at the water cooler. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 05

Democratic Heaven

00|DK|00|08|R|S|Oh,
it`s you. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|10|R|Q| 00|DK|00|06|R|Q| 00|00|07|04|R|S|It`s me! 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|Uh... Actually...
You have been
voted out. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|Q| 00|00|07|10|R|S|What do you mean,
`Voted out`
??? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|We took a vote.
You didn`t get enough support. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|You can`t get voted out of Heaven! 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|In fact, it turns out, you can. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|Most of the people in Heaven don`t even know me. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|S|Everybody in Heaven knows you. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|So,
insult one,
insult all?
Is that it? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|22|R|S|Pretty much.
More than just one,
though, wasn`t it? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|24|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|I thought as long as you believed in Jesus, you were in. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|S|That`s just the
story we tell,
so we can see what
you`re really like. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|18|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|Q| 00|00|07|08|R|S|Bummer.
Thought I had a free pass. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|ST|07|04|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|S|Just kidding.
You`re golden.
Still an ass, though. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 99

Intermission 3

01|00|13|04|R|Q| 02|00|13|04|R|Q| 03|00|13|04|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|R|Q| 05|00|13|04|R|Q| 06|00|13|04|R|Q| 07|00|13|04|R|Q| 08|00|13|04|R|Q| 09|00|13|04|R|Q| 10|00|13|04|R|Q| 11|00|13|04|R|Q| 12|00|13|04|R|Q| 13|00|13|04|R|Q| 14|00|13|04|R|Q| 15|00|13|04|R|Q| 16|00|13|04|R|Q| 17|00|13|04|R|Q| 18|00|13|04|R|Q| 19|00|13|04|R|Q| 20|00|13|04|R|Q| 21|00|13|04|R|Q| 22|00|13|04|R|Q| 23|00|13|04|R|Q| 24|00|13|04|R|Q| 25|00|13|04|R|Q| 26|00|13|04|R|Q| 27|00|13|04|R|Q| 28|00|13|04|R|Q| 29|00|13|04|R|Q| 30|00|13|04|R|Q|

Act 04 Scene 02

Where`s Jesus?

01|00|13|08|R|Q| 02|00|13|08|R|Q| 03|00|13|08|R|Q| 04|00|13|08|R|Q| 05|00|13|08|R|Q| 06|00|13|08|R|Q| 07|00|13|08|R|Q| 08|00|13|08|R|Q| 09|00|13|08|R|Q| 10|00|13|08|R|Q| 11|00|13|08|R|Q| 12|00|13|08|R|Q| 13|00|13|08|R|Q| 14|00|13|08|R|Q| 15|00|13|08|R|Q| 16|00|13|08|R|Q| 17|00|13|08|R|Q| 18|00|13|08|R|Q| 19|00|13|08|R|Q| 20|00|13|08|R|Q| 21|00|13|08|R|Q| 22|00|13|08|R|Q| 23|00|13|08|R|Q| 24|00|13|08|R|Q| 25|00|13|08|R|Q| 26|00|13|08|R|Q| 27|00|13|08|R|Q| 28|00|13|08|R|Q| 29|00|13|08|R|Q| 30|00|13|08|R|Q| 01|00|13|24|R|Q| 02|00|13|24|R|Q| 03|00|13|24|R|Q| 04|00|13|24|R|Q| 05|00|13|24|R|Q| 06|00|13|24|R|Q| 07|00|13|24|R|Q| 08|00|13|24|R|Q| 09|00|13|24|R|Q| 10|00|13|24|R|Q| 11|00|13|24|R|Q| 12|00|13|24|R|Q| 13|00|13|24|R|Q| 14|00|13|24|R|Q| 15|00|13|24|R|Q| 16|00|13|24|R|Q| 17|00|13|24|R|Q| 18|00|13|24|R|Q| 19|00|13|24|R|Q| 20|00|13|24|R|Q| 21|00|13|24|R|Q| 22|00|13|08|R|S|Where`s Jesus? 22|00|13|16|R|Q| 23|00|13|08|L|Q| 23|00|13|16|L|S|I think he went
to get groceries. 24|00|13|24|R|Q| 25|00|13|24|R|Q| 26|00|13|24|R|Q| 27|00|13|24|R|Q| 28|00|13|24|R|Q| 29|00|13|24|R|Q| 30|00|13|24|R|Q| 01|00|13|08|R|Q| 02|00|13|08|R|Q| 03|00|13|08|R|Q| 04|00|13|08|R|Q| 05|00|13|08|R|Q| 06|00|13|08|R|Q| 07|00|13|08|R|Q| 08|00|13|08|R|Q| 09|00|13|08|R|Q| 10|00|13|08|R|Q| 11|00|13|08|R|Q| 12|00|13|08|R|Q| 13|00|13|08|R|Q| 14|00|13|08|R|Q| 15|00|13|08|R|Q| 16|00|13|08|R|Q| 17|00|13|08|R|Q| 18|00|13|08|R|Q| 19|00|13|08|R|Q| 20|00|13|08|R|Q| 21|00|13|08|R|Q| 22|00|13|08|R|Q| 23|00|13|08|R|Q| 24|00|13|08|R|Q| 25|00|13|08|R|Q| 26|00|13|08|R|Q| 27|00|13|08|R|Q| 28|00|13|08|R|Q| 29|00|13|08|R|Q| 30|00|13|08|R|Q|